In this episode, we read the Tao te Ching Chapter/Quote #79 and delve into the concept of failure and the ways in which blame or accountability influence our journey through life.
At times, particularly in our youth but also as adults, it may seem simpler to evade responsibility and escape from circumstances that could lead to trouble. Yet, can we genuinely learn and evolve through such tactics?
If we embrace our failures as inevitable stepping stones towards growth, we can begin to unravel the negative patterns that ensnare us and embark on a path of healing for our inner wounds and traumas, allowing us to traverse life with heightened awareness and authenticity.
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hey everyone. What's up? We are reading today the Tao Te Ching. It's a wonderful, ancient philosophical Chinese text that is just so timeless, and it's been throughout the ages we've been interpreting this and translating this like crazy. It is the second most translated. Book in history, second to the Christian Holy Bible.
So it is very prolific through our culture, through our world, because it's so deep, so profound, very cryptic sometimes. And what I love about it personally is how much we can interpret it through our own lenses, and that's what we're here to do today. So I am Mark.
And I'm Adam. And I'm gonna read, uh, 79 from the Steven Mitchell translation.
Now, 79 failure is an opportunity if you blame someone else, there is no end to the blame. Therefore the master fulfills her own obligations and corrects her own mistakes. She does what she needs to do and demands nothing of others.
Is that it?
That's it.
Oh, in my translation, mine mine's longer. Okay.
Interesting. Oh, okay. Um, let me add a little piece here since. Yours was so truncated. Uh, I'll add a virtuous person will do the right thing, and persons with no virtue will take advantage of others. The DAO does not choose sides. The good person receives from the Dao because she is on its side. Hmm. So just a little bit extra there.
Uh, so reread that first part for us.
Yeah, they're kind, they're kind of interesting 'cause they, they, they're actually quite different. Um, failure is an opportunity if you blame someone else, there is no end to the blame is the first part.
So mine says difficulties remain even after solving a problem. How then can we consider that as good?
Hmm. See different translations, different interpretations. Yeah. A lot of times they hold the same essence through these translations, but this one seems somewhat different. What, what you, you read yours, so what do you, what do you think about yours?
I mean. It's really convicting because it, it does, I love this piece about like, there's no, if, if you blame someone else, there's no end to the blame.
Like the idea that like, you know, in, in our, in English, the idiom of like passing the buck, right? Mm-hmm. Or the buck just keeps getting passed to someone else. Yeah.
The never ending. Cycle.
It just never ends. It never ends. And I see that in myself when I'm my worst. And I see it with in, in my, even like with my daughter, right?
And like children, right? Where it's like the quickest thing is like, well, who's to blame for this? Like, I don't wanna hold this blame. He did. He started it, my brother. You know? Yeah. You know, um, and, and I feel like that's, there's something to that. Right. And I feel like some of us just either never outgrow it or we could have retained those patterns, especially when we're in heightened levels of stress or fear or anxiety or whatever.
Sure. Where it's like, lemme just, I don't wanna hold this blame, I can't deal with it. And I feel like what this is saying is like, that's what mastery is. Learning how to, yeah. Fold and deal with your own shit. Own, own it, right? Yeah. Own it. Accountability. That's it. We all need accountability for ourselves and for others, and we can help each other being, you know, accountability partners.
That's it. And that's, that's a huge component that a lot of us don't learn growing up, like you said, as kids where we're often. They started it. He did that. You know? Yes. It wasn't me trying to get out of getting in trouble, because that's the model that's being created as kids is you do something bad.
Yes. You go in the timeout, you go in the corner and think about what you've done. Yes. But rather than having a real dialogue, talking to kids. Yeah. You know, depending on the age, I guess. Like talking to kids in more of an adult manner. Yep. And talking about the choices. Yep. Why did you make that choice?
Yep.
And what can we learn from this experience? Yeah. That's where true accountability comes from and the ability to not keep on skirting the blame, but to own the blame and then understand how to rectify that or at at best, to learn from it. Learn. That's the key. Learning is the failure. Really, Yoda said it, right?
Yeah. Failure. How did he say it? And his Yoda speak. Failure is the, the greatest teacher is failure. No, I don't know. I'll have to look that one up. I'll insert that in. The greatest teacher failure is, but no, I, I agree with you completely and like Yeah. I feel like, I feel like it's really, it runs counter to our culture, right?
The I, because this is one of the things, and you see it in like better, newer reversions of parenting, where they're really trying to build kids' resilience to failure. Mm. And like. Reframing failure, but that's not what our culture does. Right. We kind of come down hard on people who fail and then like, not to like get political, but like the whole like idea of like cancel culture and these kinds of things where there's those dynamics where people feel like if you know it's a one-time thing, like if you did something bad, then you're bad.
Like this. Sort of like, we don't know how to embrace failure and like you said. Oh, except the invitation for like more awareness as to like, what was going on here, like what was happening. And we might find that like, yeah, we don't need, like we can shoulder the blame and take accountability, but we might find like, oh, this is because I was stressed out.
I was tired. Like I, I was, I spoke outside of myself. Okay,
now we go. Or even in a deeper level, it could be because of traumas that you've experienced Exactly. That are perpetuating. Into the, this, the energetic sphere that you're not really aware of, and opening that awareness is so healing on such a deep, profound level, very to really not fix the problem, but to understand why you've been falling into certain patterns, why you've been doing certain things that may not be resonant with virtuous way, and to really get to the core of who you are and how to act and react, or better word is how to respond in situations.
That are just more healthy in general. Yes, yes. And dealing with those traumas is a, is a big, is a big step in that direction.
It is. And if you miss, and if you ignore the triggers or just sort of shark the blame, you miss the opportunity to go in and see what's there.
And it says in my version, therefore, the master does what she knows is right and makes no demands of others.
Mm-hmm. So that's that owning, right? Mm-hmm. Just own who you are. Take that accountability, do what you believe is virtuous 'cause we all have different lenses. There's no necessarily objective, right or wrong in, in some degrees perhaps. But, uh, overall different cultures, different religions, different upbringings have a different lens, different perspectives of what is right, what is not right.
But when you are authentic in yourself mm-hmm. You are having ultimately good intentions. For yourself, for the world, for others. Just be who you are and don't expect anything from others. Just be you.
And if you don't like it, well maybe that's because of your stuff that's going on.
Take a look at you. I've taken a look at me. You're taking a look at you. That part? Well, we'd love to hear what you think. So, uh, tell us what you think in the comments. If you, if you agree, disagree, have something else we didn't think of, we'd love to hear it. Thank you very much, and until then, be well and keep on flowing.